Last Night

Hi everyone. A funny thing happened last night. Kyrie was late coming back to my apartment last night so I decided to go out looking for her. I stopped by the club she was supposed to be at but I didn't see her car there, or Dante's. So I stopped by Wendy's had had a Spicy Chicken sammich and by the time I got back Kyrie was back in the apartment. She must have been expecting me because she was lying in my bed with half of her clothes off! How awesome is that?! I was going to hang up my coat inside the closet but Kyrie insisted that she hang it up for me. What a great girl. Then she made me go brush my teeth in the bathroom with the door closed. I was totally going to score last night. It also looked like Kyrie bought a new toothbrush because there was a bright red one sitting in a cup by the sink. I was humming a J-Pop song when I thought I heard heavy footsteps towards the front door, but when I opened the bathroom door I didn't see anybody. I got into bed with Kyrie and then she all of a sudden remembered that Dante had her cell phone and she needed to get it from him incase she gets an urgent call. I was kind of disappointed but I'm an understanding guy. As I went to sleep my hand ran under the pillow and I found this strange-looking foil wrapper, kind of like an empty Alka-Seltzer tablet wrapper. It was too dark to read it, but I hope Kyrie doesn't have the flu or a cold.

Two hours later I heard Kyrie come back through the front door and she went to sleep on the couch so she wouldn't wake me up. I was so close to scoring with Kyrie, but oh well. I am a nice guy and I don't want to rush Kyrie. I think she's saving herself for marriage.

Yesterday and Today

Hello peoples on the internets, it's Nero again.

Things have been going awesome since I have been dating Kyrie. I've been buying her clothes, and taking her to get her hair done, and she has even moved in with me and I don't even charge her rent! I have also been taking her to the movies, too. I don't get to actually watch them with her, though; she just has me drop her off at the movie theater and I wait in the parking lot to take her home.

I also finally got to meet one of her friends yesterday; I think her name was Trish. Kyrie usually doesn't want me to meet her chick friends, and I think it is because she thinks that one of them will steal me away. I love Kyrie. But I digress. Trish was having problems with her car and Kyrie sent me to drive to the next town over and try to fix it for her. I told Kyrie that I thought Trish's battery was dead, so Kyrie asked me to loan Trish my mom's station wagon so they could both make it to Lady's Night at Club Nevan. Kyrie really has faith in my skills as a mechanic. I am just a big mountain of man-hammer to Kyrie.

The next morning (this morning) I woke up inside of Trish's car and a cop was asking me questions. Apparently Trish had too many Jell-o shots and wrapped the station wagon around a tree and then ran away on foot. I later asked Kyrie where she had been and she told me it was none of my business. I love how Kyrie is so concerned about me that she lets me know what is and isn't important for me to worry about to keep my stress at a low level.

I got a phone call from Dante today! Well, it wasn't for me, it was for Kyrie, but it was still cool that he called. Dante is pretty awesome, but I don't think he's straight. I mean, red leather and cowboy chaps? Red light right there. And I don't think he's done it with many girls either. He's always hanging out with them, but he never does 'anything', unlike "Konami-Code Kratos". (We call him that because the rumor is that he finishes in the time it takes to press a few buttons in a video game. Hahaha.) So yeah, Dante is totally gay, but I'm not a homo-phobe, and that's why I'm cool with him wanting to see Kyrie tonight.

Well now I have to call my mother and let her know I am alright.

I love Kyrie! How we met!

Hi everybody on the internets, my name is Nero and I am a cool guy. Why am I so cool? It is because I am dating the hottest girl on the planet:

Kyrie.

Yup, I looooove Kyrie. I remember the first time we met... It was at the Chic-fil-A behind the Hell Gate we built our city around. I never figured out why we built our houses around an enormous store artifact they call the Hell Gate, but that's a different story. Anyways, I was ordering a chicken sammich with extra mayo when I heard a gentle voice behind me say, "Credo, what the hell is that guy wearing? All of those dorky zippers on his jacket. He looks like one of those white guys who thinks they're Japanese." I listened to her gentle voice talking smack about some stupid douche wearing bad clothing. I took a quick glance to my sides, hoping I would see this fashion-inept loser but I was the only one in line. Maybe the dork was behind us.

After I got my sammich I saw the girl whose voice had captured my heart and she couldn't take her eyes off of me. "Nice jacket." She said with a grin. The girl had good taste. But then the guy he was with looked like he had a stick up his ass. "Leave him alone, sis." He said to her. Damn her big brother for trying to stand between us! I tried to talk to her, but she kept turning away as though she were trying to abide by her brother's wishes. She even threatened to call the police if I didn't leave her alone, but I knew it was a ruse to keep herself pure in the eyes of her brother. After following her home from Chick-fil-A and breaking into her house and stealing her soiled underwear I was given a court order to keep my distance. It was a perfect way to keep Credo's suspicions off of me and his sister. What a smart girl! Kyrie thinks of everything.

I was parked across the street in my mom's station wagon when I watched Kyrie and Credo go to church, and I followed. It turns out that Kyrie is the lead singer in her church's opera! I don't know why a church would have an opera, or why they worship a demon, but it doesn't matter.

You should listen to Kyrie sing. She has the voice of angels. Her angelic voice floats such melodious and heavenly tunes it makes angels weep. The sun rises just to hear her morning melodies. Even the sweetest of birds can learn a thing or two. And her looks, she has hair like spun gold and eyes as blue as the Angel Islington in Monopoly, even though her hair and eyes are both brown. And her figure! In that white dress even Beyonce doesn't stack up against that booty.

I even sold my soul to the Devil for her. I was stalk- I mean, 'following' Kyrie to her car when she realized she locked her keys inside and could not get home. When she saw me she called for help, but I was powerless to save her, so that day I made a vow that I would pay any price if I had the power to protect her and 'boom' that's how I got my magic arm. Now no locked car doors are a problem anymore because of my ghost hand. I will probably burn in Hell for the deal I made but it was worth it to protect Kyrie from locked vehicles. After I sold my soul, Kyrie remembered that she had a magnetic spare-key holder under her car, and a taster in her purse. I felt as though her crisis was adverted... for now.

But we never got close until I bought her a gold necklace and saved her from a 100 foot tall statue possessed by the soul of our priest. Most priests just molest children but we get the one that wants to take over the world with a giant floating naked stone man...

So now Kyrie and I are living happily ever after!